The Last Time

I feel better skipping one meal
a day. Since noon is never on time
I quit eating lunch. Later in the day
I might snack on the hole in the middle
of a bagel to keep my weight down.
If temperatures drop I get out of the way
to avoid getting hit then put on a heavier
coat. When night falls I can’t turn my
back on it anymore and try to help it
get back up by dawn. I even got down
on my knee once to propose—now 
it’s just to tie my shoe. The last time
I did, I saw my name written on
the sidewalk. Until the rain washes
it away it might explain why
I feel like I let everyone walk all
over me. At least I’ve become more
realistic ever since I found a way
to let go of all those plans I held on to for years.
I rolled them into a cigar, lit it and began
puffing. It was much easier that way
watching them all go up in smoke.

KEVIN PILKINGTON

Kevin Pilkington is on the writing faculty at Sarah Lawrence College. He is the author of ten poetry collections and two novels. His latest collection, Playing Poker With Tennessee Williams, was published in 2021 by Black Lawrence Press and his second novel, Taking On Secrets, was published in 2022 by Blue Jade Press.