These Past Three Days
MAY, 30s
TOM, 40s
A note on the text:
An em-dash (—) indicates they have been interrupted.
An ellipses ( . . . ) indicates they’ve lost track of their own thought.
Scene:
A bus stop. Morning. MAY sits on a bench by herself.
TOM approaches.
MAY
No!
No.
no
no . . .
no—
TOM
May, just a—
MAY
Go away.
A pause.
Where were you?
TOM
I . . .
where’s Ava?
MAY
Where were you these past three days?
TOM
Did anything happ—
MAY
How can you ask about the baby?
You’ve been God knows where without a word!
TOM
I—
MAY
I called you.
A hundred times.
A pause.
I deal with living with your family.
But they’re not—
TOM
They’re helping us—
MAY
Helping us?
TOM
We wanted to save money for—
MAY
For what?
They judge me for how I put her to sleep.
How I do this.
How I do that.
I can’t . . .
I need . . .
TOM
I thought . . .
I thought we wanted . . .
Oh, Jesus, May, I’m not here to talk about—
MAY
Then why are you here?
TOM
There’s something . . .
MAY
Spit it out!
TOM
I want to . . .
MAY
Glad I put you through school.
Seems like being a therapist has really helped you learn how to steer a conversation.
TOM
We decided—
MAY
We?
We
We
We!
TOM
We’re trying to build a . . . a . . .
MAY
You wanted this baby, so I had it.
A pause.
I thought maybe . . .
Maybe it would mean that we didn’t . . .
That we didn’t make a huge mistake.
This. Us.
How did you even know I was here?
TOM
I want to do the right thing.
For Ava.
MAY
For her?
TOM
Yes.
This is about . . .
MAY
Tell me!
TOM
I’m trying!
MAY
You’re always trying,
you’re never—
TOM
Let me talk, May!
MAY
Please! Go ahead!
TOM
I’m . . .
I want to be good.
I want to be a good father. To Ava.
She’s. She is my whole reason to . . .
MAY
To . . .
TOM
Let me talk!
MAY
WHERE have you been these past three days?
TOM
I’ve devoted my life to . . .
Tried to be a good man.
MAY
Devoted. I don’t even know . . .
TOM
Tried to love you.
And then Ava came along.
MAY
She’s been throwing up for three days.
While you were—
TOM
And I really felt this . . . purpose
That I’ve never felt—
MAY
I haven’t slept.
TOM
That no matter what, it will be okay.
MAY
I smell like stale milk.
TOM
Because she’s here, and she’s part of me.
MAY
My jeans don’t fit.
Your sister-in-law is yapping.
Something that doesn’t matter.
TOM
And Ava is this life. This living soul. Proof that—
MAY
I took her to the hospital.
TOM
Wai—
MAY
She’s fine.
But.
I needed . . .
I needed to just . . .
TOM
She’s—okay?
MAY
Just breathe.
On my own.
Here.
TOM
Where is she?
MAY
With my mom.
TOM
You called your mom?
MAY
I called you.
I had no one else.
My mom’s happy to make up for whatever you’d call my childhood.
I just keep wondering what it would be like . . .
TOM
Are you—
MAY
What if I just got on one of these buses?
They come.
They go.
There’s a schedule.
A destination.
I could just get on and decide to get off in, in . . .
It doesn’t even matter where!
Just somewhere else.
It would be so . . . simple.
Just walk right on.
TOM
What I’m trying—
MAY
Maybe somewhere warm.
TOM
I was with a man.
A pause.
MAY
Okay.
TOM
I fucked him.
I fucked a man.
A pause.
MAY
Who?
TOM
The last three days I—
MAY
Who?
TOM
I didn’t think . . .
I tried so hard not to think of him.
MAY
WHO?
A pause.
Was it Josh?
TOM
Does it matter—
MAY
It was Josh.
TOM
It wasn’t. May.
Just—
MAY
Just tell me who, and I’ll listen.
TOM
It’s not about who.
MAY
I need to picture.
I need . . .
My brain will fill in the blanks.
TOM
I see him in church. He’s a good man.
MAY
Josh.
TOM
FINE! Yes! Are you happy?
A pause.
MAY
What did I do wrong?
TOM
You didn’t . . .
I ran into him three days ago.
At the library
MAY
I can’t . . .
TOM
And we started talking.
We kept talking.
I’ve never just talked with someone like this before.
A pause.
And he touched my hand. And it was like.
I wouldn’t have been able to live the rest of my life
Wondering what if.
My entire life has been what if.
A pause.
And I thought I could bury it.
I thought you and I. It could.
And I wanted Ava. I want Ava.
She . . .
When my mother found out we were having a baby.
She looked so
A pause.
relieved.
She could stop.
Worrying.
And I could stop.
Worrying.
I love her. Ava.
And I thought maybe that could be enough.
A pause.
And then
I spent the last three days in heaven.
And I wonder . . .
MAY
I need a cigarette.
TOM
I wanted to tell you.
I’m tired.
My face is tired.
Looks like Silly Putty in the mirror.
Forcing it into shapes that don’t fit.
MAY
My dad used to come home late.
Drunk.
She grabs a cigarette out of her pocket.
And my mom would act as if everything was normal.
He wouldn’t hit her or anything.
She lights the cigarette.
He was actually a better version of himself when he was drunk.
Less. Depressed.
She takes a slow, smoky drag.
My mother . . . she’d see me there in the corner.
Hiding.
Terrified.
I was more angry at her.
For leaving me there. Never asking how I felt. What I loved. Who I was.
And I promised I’d never be her.
TOM
May—
MAY
I’d promised and promised.
Willing her out of me. And here I am.
I’m so
Lonely.
TOM
We . . .
We had this baby.
This life that we’re both.
Responsible for.
MAY
You’re going to go back to him, aren’t you?
TOM
What about Ava?
MAY
This isn’t about her, Tom.
Stop using other people to distract you from . . .
from yourself.
TOM
Do you love me?
MAY
I . . . I need you.
A pause.
But, no, Tom.
I don’t love you.
A pause.
Are you gonna move in with him?
TOM
I haven’t thought that far.
A pause.
I think . . .
I think this is the love that I always thought . . .
MAY
I could live with my mother for a while.
Ha!
Oh my god.
Look where my promises have gotten me.
TOM
We don’t have to do anything yet.
I just keep . . .
What about Ava?
She won’t understand.
MAY
She’ll blame herself.
Like I did.
TOM
She’s young.
Maybe she won’t.
MAY
Maybe she’ll—
TOM
Maybe her mind hasn’t been . . .
She’s not wired yet.
To think . . .
MAY
There’s gonna be consequences.
TOM
I’m not saying there won’t—
MAY
You’re a fool, Tom.
We both . . .
A pause.
Why did we have to bring Ava into this . . .
This mess?
A pause.
TOM
Do you have another cigarette?
MAY
Ha! Since when?
TOM
Since now.
May takes out her pack of cigarettes.
She hands him one, lights it for him.
MAY
Ever since when we first met.
I tried to get you to take a drag.
Not even when you were drunk!
We couldn’t just have fun.
Something was . . .
Nothing ever was . . .
All it took was three days with . . .
A pause.
He must really be something.
TOM
What do we do?
MAY
I don’t know.
They sit smoking together,
as the lights slowly fade.
DANIELLE CARROLL
Danielle Carroll is a first-year MFA playwright at Goddard College and received her BA in English Literature from St. Lawrence University. She has worked in production, development, and dramaturgy for The Brooklyn Music School, Original Idiots, and The Private Theatre. She has studied at Interlochen, the Atlantic Theater Company, and HB Studio. She hails from New Hampshire and now lives in New Jersey.